Classless ‘Ammers Didn’t Even Bid

£50m Dembele

I don’t watch the EPL bar the occasional bit on the news or 2 minutes of highlights when flicking through channels. Over paid stars larking around with no connection to fans, I find it as interesting as watching the Harlem Globetrotters or one of those Robbie Williams sponsored celebrity games. I say this in mitigation of why my knowledge of West Ham is even more limited but here goes (without reference to google);

 

They are a London team with fans who like to call them The Hammers but drop the H. They play in the same colours as Burnley, their star player was Trevor Brooking and last won a trophy in 1980 when said Brooking scored in a 1-0 over Arsenal – a game which started the calls for professional fouls to earn a straight red after 17yr old Paul Allen was brought down when clean through on goal. They used to play at Upton Park but in the summer they moved to the Olympic Stadium – a team from the worlds richest league getting a taxpayer hand-out to take it over! The move to the new stadium has been blighted by crowd trouble (something “The ‘ammers used to be famous for) because it was never designed for football rivalry. They used to be owned by Icelanders but are now owned by a porn baron with Karen Brady (celebrity businesswoman famous for being a celebrity business woman) oh and their song is “I’m forever Blowing Bubbles” and their most famous fan isn’t even real – Alf Garnet.

 

Like my fourth essay in my History higher I have been able to cram my full knowledge into a single paragraph however that single paragraph now needs to be extended to two following yesterday’s nonsense!

 

I now also know that the club use the same PR tactics as old and new Rangers – they cling onto the successes of Celtic to gain reflective glory!

 

It appears that West Ham have this thing on their website called “The Insider” – a sort of Sunday Papers gossip style column which states that the views expressed do not represent those of the club…how can they not? They are on the official site! Anyway, this “insider” yesterday claimed that West Ham had submitted a £20m bid for a player playing in Scotland. Saying Scotland is rather cute because they can avoid sanction by not identifying the club however despite best efforts of Level 5 PR and the Daily Record everyone knows that there is only one club in Scotland with players valued in that region. From here the story falls down however because the FACT is that Celtic received NO official bids from West Ham yesterday or in any day this year and £20m is about 50% of where Celtic estimate Dembele’s value.

 

As we have seen with New Rangers, Celtic cannot stop wee teams attempting to stand on the shoulders of giants. The problem with this West Ham nonsense is that it is now out there and we know that the January window is basically an EPL based sales vehicle for Sky, therefore whenever there is a slow transfer news day we are likely to see this rumour (with no basis in fact) trotted out.

 

Celtic will probably sell Dembele some time, indeed Mousa and other players come to us because we will not stand in their way of moving to the riches of the EPL but for us to sell you’ve got to make an offer in the first place, the ‘Ammers didn’t.

 

 

Oh there is one final thing I learned this week about West Ham – they lack class!

Harry Brady

The current host of the world's longest running football fans podcast

4 Comments

  • January 6, 2017

    christiandailly

    Giants don’t tend to sign free agents like Carlton Cole after being released from wee teams like West Ham.

    • January 6, 2017

      weldoninhio

      Didn’t West Ham sign free agent Carlton Cole in September 2013 after he was released from small club West Ham because no other strikers would sign for you??? Same as what’s happening this season, he’ll prob be back by the end of January.

  • January 6, 2017

    arteee27

    Now let me give you my 2 cents & knowledge of the 2nd team in Glasgow named Celtic. They play just below schoolgirl level, against very poor teams, whilst singing disgraceful songs, believing they are actually good. They are not. If West Ham wanted one of their players they could take them in a click. I mean who in their right mind would want to be associated with idiotic, uneducated thugs? All players want out ASAP so they can play football against the best players.

    • January 6, 2017

      Harry Brady

      Ha ha ha