Consider how upsetting the test questions are to the replicant Leon (Brion James) in the opening scene of Blade Runner. A hypothetical situation in which he refuses to assist a helpless tortoise greatly distresses him, and, in response to a seemingly innocuous question about his mother, Leon murders his interrogator.


Bearing that in mind, are the questions regularly directed at former Rangers Director of Football (and former Chief Executive of the SFA) Gordon Smith part of multiple Voight-Kampff tests?  In every interview I hear, read or see that features the former Rangers DOF, he is reduced to a gibbering wreck, seemingly unable to form a coherent sentence.

Gordon was recently asked if anyone at Rangers had heard the rumours of administration that had been circling for months, he replied:

“Rumours?  No, no rumours, there weren’t any rumours about administration.”

When the interviewer mentioned that this wasn’t entirely true, that the rumours of administration had been doing the rounds for months before hand Gordon went on:

“the only time we heard any rumours of administration was after we’d actually gone into administration, then the rumours came out.”

The interviewer then asked him if anyone knew that Rangers had been failing to make PAYE payments during Gordon’s time there.  Gordon replied (in a tone suggesting distress):

“How could I?  I wasn’t involved in any of that, no one told me. How could I know that?”

Replicant checklist time:

1)      Answering a question with another question.  Check.

2)      Rambling incoherently.  Check.

3)      Getting upset at a simple question.  Check.

On the basis of this evidence the interviewer is lucky he never asked Gordon about his sick parents, we may have been dealing with a murder!

The evidence of Voight-Kampff testing extends even further into the Rangers hierarchy, owner and Chairman Craig Whyte is on video and tape, many times I should add, seemingly experiencing a massive malfunction in his primary programming.  When quizzed on the simplest of topics, say if he planned on returning to Glasgow anytime soon (recently asked by Jim Whyte on Sky Sports News), Whyte replied:

“Em..aye-aye-I-I-I-I-aye, ehhhh, eeeh, aye, aye Jim.  I-I-I-I-I’mmm planning on returning to eeeeeeh Glasgow sometime very, very soon, can’t tell you when but eeeeeeeh, but soon…”

According to Rick Deckard, Harrison Ford’s character in Blade Runner, it takes around six or seven questions to identify whether a subject is indeed a replicant.  On the basis of every interview given by the above pair, it’s clear upon instant response of the first question that both are, indeed, replicants.

Time for someone to retire these “Skin-jobs”?


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